Not exactly an adult
Notes on becoming independent
You just left a trip with your friends and got word that your mom is in the hospital. Upon landing, you realize that the money you saved for rent has been depleted from your account. Arriving to the hospital, you find out you have to help cover the hospital bill since a specialized treatment is required.
Being an adult is cool until you have to do things you don’t want to.
As kids, our sense of responsibility is a bit different since many of us either don’t, can’t, or have to fend for ourselves. Our naivete is what gets us exploited time and time again. Experience forces us to be on edge– lurking for the next opportunity to prove that we’ve learned our lesson.
Even if it has taken 10 opportunities to do so.
Adulting is a combination of delayed gratification, impulsive decisions, and a looming “fear” of getting older.
Oddly enough, I’ve embraced all but one of these things– the fear of getting older. I believe it's easy to avoid the inevitable, so why not walk towards it?
Since I was a kid, I have felt like an outcast. I was either too mature for my peers or too young to be amongst my elders. As someone who has managed a significant amount of responsibility, I can feel myself walking into a New Era of adulthood. Despite the popular belief that your 20s are horrible, I am having the time of my life!
Traveling the world, working on my writing, and being a full-time entrepreneur (legally might I add) has been nothing short of a blessing. Through my trials, I have learned how to protect myself in compromising situations, step away from opportunities, and emphasize my boundaries– for everyone.
It's funny to me that the furthest move I’ve made in my life so far– happened to be the easiest. I remember vividly packing my car to move to Miami after graduating– there were no goodbyes, no send off party, or a battalion of support to move in. Just an accepted offer and a hope that everything would work out.
Four years later, I finally live in the same city that was “snatched away” from me– Los Angeles, California. As a “product of the pandemic”, I can say that everything happens on time and at the perfect time. I had to grow in Atlanta and Jacksonville to be prepared for the city of angels/angles (iykyk). Though I’m still finding my way, I’m happy with where I’m going.
As someone that’s almost off the edge of being grown-ish, I do not take all of the credit for where I am. My family, friends, and loved ones all did their part to encourage, finance, and push me to the next level. If I were to say I did it by myself, that’d be blasphemous. I wasn’t born out of my own free will– so how can I navigate life without the support and love of others?
Adulting is knowing how you play a role in the grand scheme without getting amnesia about the past. It’s recognizing that your parents are real people no matter how “superhero” you imagine them to be. It’s knowing when to step away from the older version of yourself to make room for the new you. Adulting is going into the abyss alone– to find the life that you’ve always wanted to live.